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A couple of months ago I heard that my church is taking a trip to India.  I don't think I've ever really thought about going to India, but it really caught my attention.  I think alot of it is the idea that the work there is just being started-all the research still has to be done.  And I really love that kind of stuff.  And of course, only the Lord has any idea where He will take me in my life, so far He has continued to suprise me. 
Anyways, I'm praying about taking this trip.  I'm kinda of in between alot of stuff so I am worried that it won't be the right time to go.  But I know that none of that really matters cause whatever the Lord has planned is gonna happen as long as I am searching for His will.  But I know He has promised to continue to use me in overseas missions stuff, so this could be the next big thing.
Here's a http://www.indiatourism.com/ernakulam-cochin" title="http://www.indiatourism.com/ernakulam-cochin" target="_blank"http://www.indiatourism.com/e... to a tourism site about the city we will be working in.
Please continue to pray for me as I seek His will.

The Lord  has been teaching me a lot lately about how SUFFICIENT He is.  How sufficient His grace is.  It's not just enough.  It's not just adequate.  It is SUFFICIENT--it covers all the need.  Not just to keep us floating, but to rescue us all together.  In fact--HIS GRACE is perfected in my weakness.  So when I am in the greatest need, His grace is most clearly and powerfully displayed. 
I found out last night that the brother of a good friend committed suicide this weekend.  He was a Christian, even a deacon at his church.  But the world got to be too much for him.  I'm having trouble reconciling these two things.

Isn't it amazing how over and over in the Word we are reminded that there is only One God.  Only One God, and One Mediator between God and men.  Only One God, a jealous God who does not want His praise going to any other.  One God, who is THE WAY, THE TRUTH, and THE LIFE.  One God who judges.  One God who works in us and through us.
And yet, He is unique.  Each one of us know Him in a different way.  Each one of us will say something different when asked who God is to us. . . Father. . . Creator. . . Savior. . . Friend. . . Faithful. . . Redeemer. . . King of Kings. . . Healer. . . I Am. . . Prince of Peace. . . Provider. . . Holy One. . . Almighty God. . . Emmanuel. . . Daddy!

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Though my praise was few
When I fall and bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that pleads forgiveness
Replacing all these thoughts
Of painful memories
But I know
That your response will always be

I'll take you back always
And even when your fight is over now
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back always
And even when the pain is coming through
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

You satisfy this cry
Of what I'm looking for
And I take all I can
And lay it down
Before the throne of endless grace, now
That radiates what's true

I'm in the only place
That erases all these faults
That have overtaken me
But I know
That your response will always be

I'll take you back always
And even when your fight is over now
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back always
And even when the pain is coming through
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

I can only speak
With a grateful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift
Of your love

I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

You'll take me back always
And even when my fight is over now
Even when my fight is over now
You'll take me back always
And even when my pain is coming through
Even when my pain is coming through
You'll take me back always

Jeremy Camp

A couple months ago, God made me a promise.  A promise that He was going to do something great with my life, and it is going to require me to trust Him big time.  So, here I am with all this anticipation, and it hasn't happened yet.  This morning as I was driving to work and praying, asking Him why it hasn't happened yet, what is He waiting on, He explained something to me.  He wanted me to be ready. . . be ready at any time to step out on the water, but now is not the time.  If Peter had stepped out on to the water at random, he would have sunk.  Instead He waited on Jesus to call Him-and He was able to walk out on to the water with Him. 
I was talking to my friend Kate last night about how so often life feels like we are just sitting in a waiting room. . . waiting for my name to be called. . . totally abandoned to the will of the name caller, and ready at all times to respond if my name is called.  If I'm sitting at the Dr's office waiting, and I pick up a magazine to read, do I ask the "name caller" to wait while I finish the article I am reading-NO-I just get up and go, ready to follow wherever they lead me-it's a mindset. 
So, waiting is still hard-I think it is one of the harder things we do as Christians, because we are out of control of the situation.  But it can be a time of total abandon to God's voice--just waiting for Him to call me to step out on the water with Him--to trust Him with all that I am.

"I no longer feel entitled to hold the answers to the universe. . . "

We have a new shopping center here in Birmingham-no suprise, but what is a suprise is right in the middle they "installed" a round-a-bout.  Sometimes called a round point.  How to proceed through a round-a-bout is second nature to me now--after using them hundreds of times in Africa, but they aren't second nature to about 95% of people in Birmingham, obviously. 

Now, just in case you don't know, the purpose of a round-a-bout is that traffic should not have to stop at an intersection--you yi eld going in and yield going out-and there is no backup no matter how busy the intersection is.  That is the principle at least.  Although I have never seen it work perfectly, us here in "the Ham" still need A LOT of work. 

My pastor is preaching on the attributes of God right now.  Yesterday was the attribute of God's Providence.  It's a concept I suppose no Christian will ever fully understand--how is He in control of everything, and yet He has given us free will.  But it is good to be reminded that He does hold all things together and that He can do whatever pleases Him--after all-He is the creator of the universe.  But my pastor said something that really struck me.  He said that often people say to him, "Where was God when my father got sick and died, where was God when I lost my job, where was God when I went through this hard time. . . where was God when my son died?".  And his response was this-"He was the same place He was when His son died."
So the truth is this--no matter what we go through, no matter how lost we feel, or how far away God seems--He is still on His throne!  He is still in control!  Nothing can thwart His will!  And nothing can rip us out of His hands!

Watermark led worship at my church tonight--this is what I walked away with:

LIVING WATER SWALLOW ME
DEEPEST RIVER WASH ME CLEAN
JESUS, SAVIOR MORE OF THEE
MORE OF THEE
COME AND RUIN ME WITH YOUR LOVE
SO NO OTHER IS ENOUGH
COME AND LEAVE YOUR MARK ON ME
JESUS, MORE OF THEE
MORE OF THEE

I've been thinking alot lately about how important my sister actually is to me.  It's amazing the difference a few years and some time apart has done for us.  We've always been pretty close, but lately she has truly become my best friend.  So, here's a list of reason's why you can't help but love her.  And I hope you all get to meet her someday. 

1.  She is obsessed with all things chocolate!!! I've never seen anyone be as ready for dessert as she is.  She is up serving it before anyone else can even put their fork down from the meal. 

"A sister is both your mirror -- and your opposite."

2.  As a child, she created her own language--and she continues to use it with those of us who have known her long enough to know what she is saying!

3.  If at any time-day or night- you wonder where she is or what she is doing, there is a 99% chance she is somewhere studying.  She has her mind set on what she wants to do with her future so she will not take ANY chances!

4.  She is faithful to her friends.  The friends she had in 3rd grade remain her good friends to this day--no matter how their life, or her life, has changed, she is someone you would always want to consider your friend.

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."

5.  She is obsessed with all things pink.  She wears pink at some point in some way every single day of her life.  It's her signature color--and it's perfect for her.

6.  Last, but most importantly, she loves the Lord and is willing to follow Him wherever He leads.  She went on her first mission trip this past summer, to share Christ with Muslim refugees in Paris, and she can't wait to know where the Lord will allow her to go next.  She has set Him before her as her goal--to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him with all her heart, soul, mind and strength.

"She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child."

My mom asked me to speak to her GA's.  Exciting right?  Only what do I say to 3rd graders to keep them interested and getting them excited about Cote d'Ivoire?  So, after pointing to Abidjan on the map and telling them that it is the world's largest COCOA producer (lots of chocolate)--which they were really excited about, we played dress up.  They were so fun and were naturals at the head tie--they even played games in them.  I couldn't even keep mine on through a church service!

They look like they'd fit right in to me!

Now I didn't watch SURVIVOR last night.  I guess I am defying American culture by not watching the one show that has shaped our culture over the last 5 years.  But I did watch the local news after.  And one of the big stories was that there are 3 SURVIVOR'S from here in the HEART OF DIXIE.  They mainly focused on one--named Ibrahim.  And his father's name was Sulayman.  That may not mean much to most of you, but for me it was too cool cause that is a name I heard all the time in West Africa.  So I'm thinking-even though he is totally American I guess his family wants to keep some of that heritage.  So next time you watch SURVIVOR, remember to pray for the people of West Africa!

I've realized something about myself.  I love to eat "Smarties" candy.  But I'm not sure that I really like Smarties. 
I remember smarties were one of my Daddy's favorite candies.  So we ate them together all the time.  And now, everytime I have a chance I eat a roll of them. 

Isn't it funny the things we hold on to?

ALL OF YOU
IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ALL OF ME
FOR EVERY THIRST AND EVERY NEED
YOU SATISFY ME WITH YOUR LOVE
AND ALL I HAVE IN YOU IS MORE THAN ENOUGH

YOU ARE MY SUPPLY
MY BREATH OF LIFE
STILL MORE AWESOME THAN I KNOW
YOU ARE MY REWARD
WORTH LIVING FOR
STILL MORE AWESOME THAN I KNOW

YOU'RE MY SACRIFICE
OF GREATEST PRICE
AND STILL MORE AWESOME THAN I KNOW
YOU'RE MY COMING KING
YOU ARE EVERYTHING THING
STILL MORE AWESOME THAN I KNOW

MORE THAN ALL I WANT
MORE THAN ALL I NEED
YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME
MORE THAN ALL I KNOW
MORE THAN ALL I CAN SEE
YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME

The Reality of the Cross:
"When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die. . . Suffering, then is the badge of true discipleship.  The disciple is not above his master.  Following Christ means passio passiva, suffering because we have to suffer.  That is why Luther reckoned suffering among the marks of the true Chruch, and one of the memoranda drawn up in preparation for the Augsburg Confession similarly defines the Church as the community of those 'who are persecuted and martyred for the gospel's sake'".  Bonhoeffer

And Understanding of His Call:
"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple."  Luke 14.26
"Wherever a group, be it large or small, prevents us from standing alone before Christ, wherever such a group raises a claim of immediacy it must be hated for the sake of Christ."  Bonhoeffer

He has been teaching me a lot lately about what it means to truly follow Him, to be willing to get out of the boat, and risk sinking, to walk with Him.  Am I ready?

Well, since our friendly groundhog announced that we would have 6 more weeks of winter, I thought I would take this chance to share with you what "winter" means in Alabama. 
Here's something you may not know about me--I have never, ever, ever had a White Christmas (although it is one of my favorite movies!). 
However, the land of Dixie does turn into what we would call a Winter Wonderland every once in a while.

A couple of weeks ago, everything and I mean everything iced over and it was actually pretty cool.

Me, Will, Kate, Chris, and Katie

Will and I are still standing strong to win the "last to get married" bet.

I roam around, around, around, around. . .
So, how do you figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life?  It seems like everyone I know has it all figured out, except me.  Am I bound to roam forever looking for something, anything that I would be happy doing forever?  
Everyday something different sounds exciting, something different seems like I could be happy doing that forever.  But could I?  After spending 2 years being a part of what He is doing to bring the nations to Himself can I serve Him in America and still feel like I am making a difference?  I just don't know!  Is there anything other than serving HIM that can make me happy?  The reality is no, but it is a hard lesson learned.   Can I be still and wait patiently for my Father to work?  I hope so.  I know He has big plans for me, but knowing something awesome is going to happen makes me even more anxious and ready for whatever it is. 

"Anxiety is the natural result when our hopes are centered in anything short of God and His will for us."  Billy Graham

It's hard to believe my BABY sister is not even a teenager anymore.  But we had a great time celebrating her birthday with friends at one of our favorite restaurants in Birmingham. . . Johnny Carrino's.

And the best part. . . plenty of chocolate cake--Crystal's favorite!

Boy, when the Father sets out to teach you a lesson He doesn't play around.  Several weeks ago He started teaching me about trust.  About all the things in my life that show I don't trust Him to have the best in mind for me. 
I've learned that I have a tendency to push people away out of fear of being hurt instead of trusting Him to work in and through that relationship.  I try to plan my life, thinking that if I plan, I can figure out what is best for me.  I allow the enemy a foothold in my life by binding me in the chains of fear--all because I don't trust Him.  Him who created the universe, who knew me before I was formed in the womb, and knew from the very beginning that He would die to save me, He who has already told me through His word that He will do things in my life that are better than anything I could ask or imagine.  But I don't trust Him.  Each day I wake up and before I can even put my feet on the ground I start trying to figure out what will be best for me that day.  I don't allow His spirit to lead me because I am afraid of where it will take me, afraid of what it will require of me. 

Ps 138.8

This was definitely not the first Christmas back that I had imagined. 
Christmas Eve we went out to visit with my Grandparents and I got to meet my little 2nd cousin, born on Thanksgiving Day, for the first time--

so precious.  We opened presents and it was nice to be home with my family for Christmas. . . then everything changed. 

No details, but I had to move out of my house, leaving behind my car, on Christmas night.  I didn't know where I would go or how I would make it, but the Lord is soo faithful, which is a great thing to be reminded of during Christmas when we are celebrating His coming to earth. 

The past few days haven't been easy, but I have a peace that only the Father can give to His children and I am trusting Him to work the best for my life.

Well, my first big holiday back in the states was awesome--Thanksgiving!&nb sp; There was soo much good food.  How could a girl resist?  Pumkin pie, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, turkey and dressing. . .

I had a ton of fun having all day to spend with family and not worrying about where else I needed to be. 
We took lots of pictures and made alot of memories. 

Well, the summer has been full of making decison after decision it seems.  Now that fall is finally here I hope that things are starting to slow down and that life will start to become a little more routine.  I started working at Starbucks back in June, knowing that I needed to start back to work, but not reallly being sure what I wanted to do with the rest of my life or really how long I was planning on being in Birmingham.  Although I am still not sure where the Lord will take me or what He is going to do with my life in whatever time I have here in America, I have taken a more permanent job.  I start September 27th as a Customer Service Representative/ Administrative Assistant at a local marketing firm.  I am still looking for a church and feeling kind of frustrated about that, but I know if I am faithful He will be too.  I just want to know that I am where He wants me and then I know He will teach me and use me there. 
So many people are wondering, will you go back overseas.  The answer is "I have absolutely no idea."  I just don't know.  I know that He has called me to certain things in my life, but I just don't know how those things fit with His big plan for my life.  I am anxiously waiting myself to see what He will do next and where He will take me next.

The family and I headed down to the beach at the end of May for some rest and relaxation. It was an awesome time of goofing off with my sister. . .

taking cool pictures. . .

and getting to know Crystal's boyfriend a little better.

We ate lots of seafood, played games, and I generally froze while everyone else was enjoying the sun. But I guess even the hottest day on the beaches of Alabama is nothing compared to the coolest day in West Africa.

Last night I went out to meet a friend, Claire, who I havn't seen in two years. We decided to meet for coffee at Barnes and Noble. It was a wonderful reunion and we had an amazing time of sharing what we have been learning, how we are feeling, and what is up next in our lives. When Barnes and Noble closed, we sat outside for a while, having no idea how fast time was passing. A man approached us asking for directions to a restaurant that neither of us had ever heard of. He was acting kind of strange, but after not being in America for two years I couldn't really pinpoint what was wrong. We both turned around to point down the road and before we know it he was running to hop in to a "getaway car" with both of our purses. Cell phones, credit cards, and ID-all gone. Someone had witnessed the robbery and tried to follow the car, but had lost them in traffic. We spent about two hours in the Riverchase Bruno's giving our accounts of what happened and making lists of everything we had lost. But basically what it comes down to is that it is all gone. I know that everything can be replaced, but I'm angry that he was daring enough to come up and talk to us for 5 minutes and we were so nice and trying to help him, and then he took "everything" from us and was gone. And when I got home and called, they had already used my debit card at three gas stations for about $120. We are trusting the Father that there is a reason that He allowed this to happen to us, although right now we are not exactly sure how He will reveal His glory through all of this. I think culture shock has kicked in and I need a rest now.